No Longer Ignored
by Yorke0593
Summary: SPRING AWAKENING Ernst/Hanschen; They didn’t care for one another, didn’t talk to one another, and definitely didn’t waste their time thinking of one another. Except, this wasn't true, was it? Slash, one-shot.


-1Story By: Kassie King

Title: No Longer Ignored

Category: Romance

Rated: T

Summary: SPRING AWAKENING Ernst/Hanschen; They didn't care for one another, didn't talk to one another, and definitely didn't waste their time thinking of one another.

To Ernst, Hanschen was nothing more than terrifying. To Hanschen, Ernst was nothing more than pitiful. The two were very different and had nothing that would draw them together, other than location. They weren't friends, not really even acquaintances. They didn't care for one another, didn't talk to one another, and definitely didn't waste their time thinking of one another.

Except, no matter what they wished, this wasn't true, was it? Because when Hanschen entered a room Ernst became more aware of his presence and his nerves heightened, but not from fear. And also because when Ernst muttered under his breath or bit his bottom lip, directed towards his school book, Hanschen wanted nothing more than to be close enough to know what Ernst had said or what he was flustered about.

It simply wasn't true that they were repelled by one another, no matter what they told themselves.

It would be foolish to say that Hanschen was uncomfortable with himself. He was the most self aware person in the world. He understood the other children in town. He could read them as well as Melchior read his controversial books full of sex, death, and other truths the Bible encouraged them not to acknowledge. Hanschen knew what to say at any moment to influence another child in his class, maybe this was why they all shied away from him. Hanschen didn't keep 'friends' well either. He never found himself liking the other boys; he merely thought they were amusing on occasions. But there was something about Ernst that intrigued Hanschen, which was more than a little unusual.

It wasn't that Ernst was just uncomfortable or awkward in school, like Moritz. No, Ernst was worst off than that. Ernst simply didn't relate to the other boys. He didn't know what they talked about or why they spoke of the girls the way that they did. He couldn't grasp why Melchior wished to disobey what was laid out for them, didn't understand what was so awful with being normal. Maybe this was because Ernst couldn't be normal; he tried of course and it never worked. Once he had kissed Ilse, a girl of their childhood, just to see what it was like. It left him wanting to hide. He didn't wish to feel that way again. He didn't like her floral fragrance or her soft features; he didn't like her long hair that made his fingers tangled. Instead, he wished for a strong hand coaxing him and a broad build that would guide him, he didn't want to be in control and for some reason he knew this was wrong.

The morning breeze on Sundays always enveloped Ernst as he walked to the Church. It was mid-December now, and rather cold to tell the truth. However, this was a small price to pay to be in the house of God. He loved going to Church. He loved the light that shone through the colorful glass windows, depicting Mary and Joseph. He loved the hymns they sang, the pews they sat in, the air they breathed, and most of all he loved the readings of the Bible.

Therefore, Ernst continued on his way with no complaints, he wasn't the type to complain much anyway. He was easy going even as the cold nipped his nose and his eyes stung. As he walked he saw several of the children in town gathering outside the Church or walking inside of it. Thea, Anna, and Martha stood clustered together beneath a large oak tree. The snow that was falling stuck to their hair and all around their shoulders. They looked pink from the cold and their giggles filled the air.

Otto and Georg were not far from them. Although the girls would occasionally glance their way they seemed to take no notice. Instead they were looking after Wendla who was entering the Church at her mother's side. She cast a sidelong wave to the other girls, but did not stop to talk. Ernst knew Wendla was a pretty girl, but he didn't know why her brown eyes and petite figure seemed to linger in the other boys' minds.

Ernst stopped short of the other children, not daring to cross a nonexistent line, which seemed to be between them. His mother left him, saying that she would be inside and that he should join her within the next quarter of an hour. His grand nod told her that he could be accompanying her sooner than that.

Ernst continued to look at the girls, though not really seeing them. He was trying to find something in their straight and strict braids, pale faces, and thin lips that would make the others so interested, but Ernst could not. It was a good thing that he was in the Lord's house today.

A crinkling of leaves and squish of snow behind Ernst told him that he was no longer alone. He could feel the presence of another body from behind, warm and larger than he was. Ernst turned slowly to look over his shoulder at who was behind him and there was no one. It was strange that this was the case, being as Ernst had been positive there was someone else with him.

However as he turned back around there was someone directly to his left. It was Hanschen and Ernst felt his cheeks grow red, from everything but the cold.

"Hello Hanschen," he stumbled out, too startled to come up with much more.

"Ernst," a curt nod and that was all Hanschen allowed.

They stood there in silence for a few fleeting moments. Neither looking at each other, neither speaking. They just looked at the snow falling and children laughing.

"So," Hanschen spoke in a way that commanded Ernst's attention. "Which do you pick?"

"Beg your pardon?" his tone was more than a little confused.

"Which of the girls? Pick one. Surely one of them looks good to you."

"Hanschen, I don't wish to talk about this right now..."

"It was merely a question, Ernst. Georg and Otto are discussing the same topic and while it's so painfully obvious who they prefer, I found myself lost at who you found engaging."

It wasn't the fact that Ernst didn't know how to answer the question that made him squirm. It wasn't even the knowledge that Hanschen just believed that he deserved to know the answers to Ernst's personal feelings when Hanschen did not offer any information itself. No, what made Ernst truly uncomfortable was that the only person he truly wished to look at, be with, or fantasize of was the person who had directed the question.

Ernst was drawn to Hanschen, just like a mosquito to blood. The square of his jaw-line, depth of his voice, his control, and confidence made Ernst completely unable to think straight. It was impossible for him to form an answer to Hanschen's questions, especially when those eyes were piercing him.

"I don't know," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"Come now, Ernst. Remember, you must naught tell lies." Hanschen taunted him.

"Honestly, Hanschen I find none of the girls particularly engaging. They all seem the same to me."

"Not even Ms. Wendla."

"No, not even Wendla." With this Ernst tried to walk away, but was stopped again by the voice, this time softer, less demanding.

"Then who?"

Ernst turned to look at Hanschen, not expecting the eye contact he was met with. He seemed to shrink under the power of Hanschen's gaze. A whimper escaped his lips and for a moment there was a hint of surprise within Hanschen's eyes.

"Ernst..." Hanschen's voice trailed off without purpose, but still could not take the two from their staring battle. However, as the bell tolled Ernst was snapped from his engagement and flew through the Church doors, hoping he would not disturb any part of the session.

Upon arrival his mother frowned at him handing him his sheet music. He had never been late before.

As Church ended Ernst's mother informed him that she would not be returning home. Instead, she would be over with the mothers of the other children baking and collecting goods for charity. She bid him goodbye, told him to study, and wished he would keep out of trouble. Ernst agreed.

He did not stop to talk to the other children once his mother was out of sight. Though, aware as he was of Hanschen's whereabouts (standing next to Anna, but looking into the woods) he didn't wait for him or catch his glance. Instead, he raced out of the courtyard, stumbling through the snow to his house.

His home was a welcoming place to be. His mother always lit candles that smelt like vanilla. There was low lighting, mostly oil lamps. His father was a busy man, who was not unkind, but often found himself without enough time to spend with Ernst. In actuality, Ernst didn't mind his father's absence.

His room was located at the back of the house; his window faced the woods that bordered around the outskirts of town. That was always something very frightening to Ernst, because he could never be to sure or not if he truly was alone. Then again, the trees themselves were so haunting and thick that not many of the town's children would attempt to venture in.

Sifting through his school things, Ernst dug out his Geometry book and began to complete his lesson for the weekend. He knew it was wrong to put it off until Sunday afternoon, but he had done so anyway. The lesson hardly kept his attention and Ernst's mind wandered, elsewhere.

He thought he was imagining things out of the sheer need of entertainment when he heard a light tapping on the window. He ignored it. Impatiently, the tapping got louder and broke through Ernst's carefully composed wall. He went to the sill and peered through the window. He was met with the eyes of Hanschen.

Ernst's first instinct was to throw a blanket over the window, to tell Hanschen that he could not spend time with him because when he did he found less and less good in himself. This is what Ernst would have done, if he hadn't flung open the window in excitement.

Sturdy but silent Hanschen came through the window and stepped into Ernst's tiny bedroom. Hanschen's presence made it seem even smaller. Standing in the center of Ernst's living space had no effect on Hanschen. He didn't look around or fiddle awkwardly as Ernst would have done, of course Ernst wouldn't have crawled into another boy's window. Hanschen didn't even smile at Ernst.

"I... about your question... changed my mind..." Ernst stuttered out words making no coherent sense.

"Pardon?" Hanschen drew out the word.

"You asked me earlier, which girl-I-I thought was prettiest and uh I said I didn't have a preference. But now... I think that-that Anna is really very pretty and I was lying... before, which I shouldn't have done." He finished lamely.

"Ernst, you weren't lying before, but you are now."

"I don't- I don't know what you mean."

"You do not find Anna anymore attractive than you find me unattractive," there was a bluntness about Hanschen that seemed to cut Ernst like an axe.

"Hanschen..."

"Ernst, really- how could I not know or suspect? I can't even touch you without you reacting visibly."

"That's not true-" but Ernst was cut off.

Hanschen's hand no longer rested carelessly on Ernst's bookshelf. Instead it was trailing lightly, lazily along Ernst's arm. Ernst could feel each finger making different patterns at the crease of his elbow, although he was still wearing his blazer. For reasons unknown (or more so unacknowledged) the sensation of Hanschen's presence anywhere near Ernst was enough to cause him to shake.

Hanschen knew this and took advantage of it. Ernst was so giving in expression that Hanschen hardly had to guess where Ernst was most sensitive. His forearm under Hanschen's hand felt so breakable. Although there was nothing wrong with their contact Hanschen could sense Ernst's indecision. It was incomprehensible to him that Ernst could feel so awful for allowing Hanschen to stroke his arm.

But something that Hanschen didn't see was Ernst's inner-conflict. On one hand his skin was burning. He was burning, burning to take off the blazer and to feel Hanschen's touch for real, burning to kiss him, to let it be known that Ernst did in deed love him. And yet, there was still a part of him, that was quieting down a bit, that was on his shoulder reciting Bible passages in his ear directing him right from wrong.

Perhaps Ernst would have been able to resist Hanschen, if only Hanschen hadn't have pushed him farther. It wasn't in Hanschen's nature to be over analytical; he had a very coherent and precise first instinct. Therefore, as he felt the shaking of Ernst under his hand, Hanschen merely reacted on his first instinct. His hand moved from Ernst's arm to his sides, holding him securely in place as if he would fall apart.

Ernst's hands went thoughtlessly to Hanschen's chest, which was covered by his crisp Sunday-best collared shirt. Hanschen's hands tightened their grip on Ernst and then as Hanschen realized the pressure he let up.

Hanschen watched Ernst in complete interest. It was curious the patterns that Ernst stroked across his chest or the mildness that he used. Hanschen didn't know if the hesitations Ernst had every few seconds were from nerves or something more. However, Hanschen's fascination with Ernst's actions was not the only surprise he felt as the beautiful boy carefully continued. The truth was that Hanschen felt very, aroused by Ernst's motions. They were so minute and unextravagant that they drove him crazy.

Ernst was going wild. He felt a low humming in his chest as he traced the detail in Hanschen's muscle and bones. He didn't know why he was feeling the way he was, but it was extraordinary. His movements were jerky, he knew that, his nervousness and indecision were present, but the look in Hanschen's eyes as Ernst looked up at him left no more doubt.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ernst whispered so low, that it was to be impressive if Hanschen could hear him at all. Hanschen didn't respond.

Ernst's finger trailed over the buttons on Hanschen's shirt. They briefly lingered there, but continued on. It wasn't until then that Hanschen finally spoke.

"Unbutton them," his voice was low, but very composed, as if he was easing Ernst along, trying to help him get the hang of this newness.

Ernst looked up at Hanschen and then fumbled awkwardly with the top button. He was fiddling and taking too much time, he began to feel stupid and quickly he tried to jerk away from Hanschen, who held him securely in place.

"Breathe," he commanded. "Calm down, hold your ground, don't become flustered," Hanschen's voice was that of a teacher's and Ernst tried to calm himself.

The thing that triggered all of this came down to several different parts in Ernst. There was the inexperienced part of him that worried he was doing everything wrong. There was the awkward part of him that couldn't find where to place his hands or feel instantly comfortable. There was the intimidated part of him, which was put off by Hanschen's calmness and control. And of course there was the moral part of him, that couldn't get over what the Bible told him.

He wanted to cry he was so scared, but Hanschen was composed, "Ernst... listen to me Ernst. You're fine, everything is fine. I don't expect anything, just breathe." His voice was soothing.

Ernst slowly leaned his head on Hanschen's chest. His forehead resting against Hanschen's breast bone. He inhaled deeply Hanschen's scent and cowered beneath the taller boy. Hanschen was still captured by Ernst and his mannerisms. He was fascinated by the little things he did.

Finally, moving his hand to Ernst's face Hanschen lowered his head to Ernst's. He did nothing, but rest his forehead on Ernst's, but even this seemed to make it harder for Ernst to think. He couldn't stay still; he squirmed unintentionally against Hanschen's grip on his shoulders.

Hanschen exhaled and Ernst drew closer to him. It was the same effect as earlier; a mosquito to blood. Hanschen's thumb did not stroke Ernst's cheek, but rest there and pressed lightly into his soft and clear skin. Another whimper-like sound from Ernst seemed to make a few decisions for Hanschen, for the whimper was definitely a pleasant one.

He tilted Ernst's head upward and slowly pressed his lips to Ernst's. The reaction was not immediate. Hanschen could feel the emotion struggle from Ernst; the shock, the fear, and then the pleasure.

However, Hanschen was not ready for the response that Ernst gave. He was expecting for Ernst to be passive during the kiss; pleasant, but reserved. Yet, Hanschen didn't know that there was a burning in Ernst that was driving him, making him push against Hanschen's lips harder, making him move quicker.

One of Ernst's hands traveled behind Hanschen's neck, holding Hanschen's face to his own. His other hand was on Hanschen's face, but only lightly. Hanschen's hands left Ernst's face and instead moved to Ernst's sides. They fit there in manners that seemed unlikely, as if their only purpose was to rest there.

Surprisingly, Hanschen felt himself give into Ernst's control as the kiss continued. He was startled, but very... interested. His hands still had their own minds though. They began to tug at Ernst's blazer and Hanschen very quickly unbuttoned it, casting it to the side.

They were still standing in the center of Ernst's room. Ernst was doing his best to support himself, but he couldn't entirely, because while he was amazed and felt great amounts of urge pushing him forth, his knees were still getting weak and soon the shaking would start. Hanschen could feel their atmosphere shift again. Control was his again as Ernst retreated.

Hanschen enjoyed this silent suffering from Ernst. Hanschen could see his attempts to control himself and to not allow moans of pleasure to escape. However, Hanschen wanted to hear them; loud and clear, so he was determined to do just that.

With force Hanschen pushed Ernst backwards, so that he fell to his bed. He was pleased to see that at least part of Ernst was going to be compliant enough with his plans. He settled himself on top of Ernst, who laid very still. Hanschen propped himself up, but his hands were not soft as he began to raise Ernst's white collared shirt.

He looked into Ernst's eyes and so much was clear. Ernst was honestly and truly scared, but also very aroused. It made Hanschen chuckle a bit as he lowered his mouth to Ernst's again. His hands began to unbutton the crisp button-up of Ernst's, but halfway down he felt Ernst's hand encircle his wrist. He separated themselves and looked down at his beautiful nervous boy.

Ernst said nothing, but fumbled for Hanschen's buttons as well. He undid them slowly, one by one, making Hanschen grow greatly impatient. As Hanschen's chest became more and more exposed Ernst lifted his head to kiss Hanschen's revealed skin. It was a light feeling that made Hanschen forget anything but the feelings and emotions of Ernst.

Ernst finished with Hanschen's shirt leaving him topless. Ernst's breath grew shaky at the sight. Hanschen's chest was not pale like his own, but not tan either. He had more muscles than Ernst did, but they did not dominate his being.

Once again Hanschen began unbuttoning Ernst's shirt and finished rather quickly. He did not kiss his chest as Ernst had done to him, but instead he lowered his head to Ernst's chest and gave it the slightest bite. A slight jolt seemed to run through Ernst's body as he squeaked and jumped in excitement, leaving Hanschen chuckling again.

Hanschen moved his mouth to the hollow of Ernst's neck, kissing him slowly, allowing Ernst to ease into the sensation, occasionally he would nip at the sensitive skin there. As Hanschen's hands found their way to Ernst's pant button Ernst moved closer to Hanschen's ear and whispered, "I love you."

"I know," was all Hanschen responded although that was all Ernst expected.

For even though they both were experiencing highs at the time, Ernst was still the scared pitiable creature who felt much too intensely for the wrong people and Hanschen was still the slightly nerve-wracking boy who was intimidating and did not know how to relate with others. However, needless to say, neither of them could ignore each other again.

**A/N **

**This is new. I've never done Spring Awakening before. I kind of like it. This was fun, although I'm sure my portrayal of Hanschen was off. Oh well, I tried. If you liked this definitely keep an eye on my profile, some more SA might be coming your way. Hint Hint- it's a 100 prompts story, so yes there will be 100 chapters ENTIRELY on SA. Freaking Awesome right?**

**Kassie**


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